17:42:27
Today I have spent 5 solid hours and 3 cups of coffee designing. I can't believe it, I am ecstatic. My creative juices are flowing. I've never been able to spend such a long time designing before!
I'm pretty tired mentally and my eyes are shot, which is why I've put the pencil down and am typing this. The only problem is I still have tons of ideas I want to get down. My creative energy is out-pacing my physical body. I'll probably stop soon...it's going to be supper soon anyway (the salmon is on the stove as I type).
This is actually the first designing I've done since my course started. I've been focussed on that because I knew there would always be time for this. In the course though we have reached this place where we are supposed to be making things that come from inside. Just splashes of paint and strange collages, stuff like that, not illustrating anything. I only "got it" this last week and holy freaking crap something has switched in my brain. I just want to create and create and create. I even used brush and ink to paint a face on the cover of the sketchpad I'm using today in just 7 strokes. This is noteable because I am terrified of making faces and always make hundreds of lines which I erase and redo over and over and over again.
I originally took this course to learn to paint and because I thought I might want to attend the school full time. By taking this course, assuming you pass it, you do not have to write the entrance exam. Now though, half way through, I am eternally grateful to myself for doing this. The experience has been unbelievable in the way it has opened me up. It has taught me that I can do things, it has taken away a lot of fear that I experience about not doing a good job and it is changing the way I think.
And not in a small way, these are huge changes. I have already done a design course where I was taught to design from inspiration and after that I would look at a tree and see a skirt, or a building and see a jacket. This is different, I can't even explain it other than to say I am learning to think like an artist. It almost makes me not want to do fashion at all lol Because it is constrained by the very definition of "clothing". I am certain I will be one of those, assuming I work in fashion as my career, that does art as my hobby. I am so happy to have this new hobby that I love so much.
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